Like most infatuations, this one took me completely by surprise. One minute I was minding my own business, skipping through life without a care in the world; the next I was online stalking my newest obsession. (Not that I do this frequently... *cough*) And what is this object of affection? Who is this charming stranger who has captured my heart? What? You think it's a guy? Pshaw! I'm talking about guinea pigs!
You see...my good friend Scott and I recently stumbled upon the topic of guinea pigs while chatting with each other. It's a long story, but he asked me to be a guinea pig by answering a question. I agreed, then looked the little rodents up on the internet as fodder for future sarcasm. ^^ And while I was scrolling through a Wikipedia article, I saw this:
Is that not the most adorable guinea pig you've ever laid eyes on? Just look at him ...or her! That gorgeous hair! That cute little chin! That, erm, mysterious little face!
So I spent the next couple of hours staring at guinea pig pictures and reading about guinea pigs, rather than searching an online database for material on a John Donne project, which is saying something because I adore John Donne.
I discovered that guinea pigs are low maintenance pets that are affectionate and fairly even-tempered (which reassures me, after the traumatic experience I had as a toddler with a vicious hamster named Boo-boo. Evil Boo-boo...). And did I mention they were cute? And come in long-haired varieties that put most Pekingese to shame? *skips through blogspot humming and singing about guinea pigs*
I knew that my family would not warm to my new found infatuation, so I had to be stealthy about this. The next morning at breakfast, I looked up from my scrambled eggs and said,
"I want a hairy guinea pig."
My announcement must have been more cryptic than I had intended, for I got no response. That or my grandparents and older brother are used to my, ah, eccentricities and pretended that they didn't hear me. So I repeated myself. My grandma had caught me looking at guinea pigs on the internet the night before, and being an intelligent and perceptive soul, she knew this was inevitable. She sighed and asked me exactly where would I put one and who would take care of it when I was at school and work. I didn't have a valid answer to either question, but I told her that I thought the name Gordon or Glenda would be appropriate, depending on said guinea pig's gender. She muttered some profanity under her breath.
Nobody else was willing to broach the guinea pig topic with me (I can't imagine why), but I have since decided that a more appropriate guinea pig name would be either Brando (after my favorite actor), Moist von Lipwig (from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series), Floyd (after my favorite band, Pink Floyd), or Anton Chigurh (after Javier Bardem's character in No Country for Old Men.)
*sigh* Logical, rational Zella knows that she doesn't need a guinea pig. I have two adorable, spoiled Chihuahuas who hate other pets with a passion. And I am way too busy to care for another pet, even one that is famously easy to care for. And in five months I am moving away to a dorm that only allows fish as pets and will be stuck living there for the next couple of years. I also despise people who buy pets on a whim and then realize they aren't able to care for said pet and punish the pet for it. So I am not getting a guinea pig anytime soon. But emotional, impulsive Zella wants a guinea pig because, because...well, just because...look at them!
So...ever had a guinea pig? Know something I need to know about them? Have an obsession that outside forces are stifling? Have any name suggestions? ^^ Tell me all about it in the comments.
