I am a Bald-Faced Liar . . . And So Are You

How's your weekend been, dear readers? Mine has been a bit strange. I suddenly became sick Friday night with, well, I am not sure what. One minute I was happily typing away on my computer, the next I was lightheaded and suffering from a pounding headache and nausea. As to quote John Cleese, "I got better" on Saturday, but I was still a bit woozy and remained that way for the weekend, which is my excuse for wearing my shirt backwards all day Saturday, even though I kept denying that and instead thinking it was actually inside out. (It wasn't, but it most certainly was on backwards.) Maybe it was because I was all hopped up on generic over the counter pain medication. Yeehaw! Or, maybe, it 's just that I am the world's biggest space cadet when sick. I am not sure.

Anyway, in a time honored routine, I huddled in bed and read while my devoted and delightful Chihuahua of nearly ten years tried to make me feel better by using my head as a trampoline. He does this every time I am sick. That or he uses my head as a stage to tap dance on. And, as usual, he performs his little jump/dance routine for about five minutes while I whimper for him to stop, then he settles his delicate five pound frame next to me and sleeps quietly until I feel better. I do not even pretend to understand his methods, but I know he loves me with all of his little heart, as I do him. I think he is practicing an ancient medicinal dance of his native Mexico to restore my health.

But enough about me.

Spammy and Rebel gave me this most prestigious award, with the following instructions:






If you want this award, you must:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award (Thanks, Andrew and Rebel! :) )
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog
3. Link to the person who nominated you
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself and at least one outrageous truth, or vice-versa
5. Nominate seven "creative" writers
6. Post links to the blogs you nominate
7. Leave a comment on each blog letting them know they've won the award.

So to that end, here are my lies . . . or are they truths?

1. When I was 5, I became so angry at a boy I had a crush on because he kept ignoring me that I decided to get his attention by running up to him at recess and then shrieking "I hate you! I hate you!" before kicking him in the crotch. He still hides from me to this day.

2. I know how to make a guitar out of a gasoline can.

3. When I was 7, I loved the book Matilda so much that I hid the school's copy in my desk the entire year and disavowed all knowledge of its whereabouts, so nobody else would take it from me until I was finished. Um, well not really keep it until I was finished so much as keep it so I could obsessively read it every day for the year. Do not judge me.

4. I never once got in trouble at school, because I was a goody-two-shoes. Or should I say I never once got caught getting in trouble at school. ^^

5. When I was a child, I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved puppies and kitties and they loved me! When I was told I'd have to touch blood, I shrugged. Puppies and kitties would need help, anyway! But when I was told I'd have to touch saliva, I lost all interest.

6. When I was a junior in high school, my local homeschoolers' group took a week long trip to Chicago. My first day there I ended up getting lost at O'Hare Airport and spent hours walking in circles, wondering where everyone was. I finally gave up and sat on my luggage until someone noticed that I looked confused and pathetic. It works every time. :D

7. I am so shy that when I was twelve, I entered a local talent contest to play the piano and froze on stage. I got over my stage fright by running off stage and never, ever playing in public again.

I nominate 9 bloggers for this award, just because, well, I don't see why I have to choose seven:

Aly
Amarantha
Bruce
Eric
Jourdie
Math
Penguins
Ryan
Sky

And whoever can correctly guess which is truth and which is fiction--or guesses better than everyone else--will get, um, well, will get their name mentioned with lots of exclamation marks and be awarded e-cookies when I post the truth. :D